Interrobangbang

I should be thankful

I tell people when they express sympathy to me for having Coeliac that there are worse things to have. And there are. After all, we have a “fix” of kinds. Don’t eat gluten and you won’t get sick. Pretty simple.

But it sucks. Not because it’s hard, though it is, but because so much of our socialization in this country has to do with food. Because my family is Southern and it’s easier to lie to my great-grandmother and say we’ve eaten already when she offers food I can’t have. It’s rude and I hate it but I’ve tried explaining it and it’s just easier to lie. She doesn’t get it. No one gets it. No matter how many times I explain, they don’t really see me as being healthier and they don’t understand that I HAVE A DISEASE DAMNIT AND IT SUCKS. Only my mom has really noticed a difference, from when I was dying and crazy to now and she is thisclose to joining me in my misery.

It’s isolating. I’m always on the outside, even when I bring my own food. No one really wants to try what I can eat, too. They’ll just make their own to eat while I have mine. It’s not bad, I promise! Gluten-free stuff can be amazing, as evidenced by the green bean casserole my husband made for Thanksgiving that my mother deemed the best she’d ever had. But no one wants to try it.

It makes me wonder if maybe I’d be better off with another disease. One with a less easy “fix.” Because then maybe people would realise that it is a disease. Maybe then it would be something they could understand. Maybe then people wouldn’t be so resistant to getting tested and dealing with it. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone in a room full of my own family.