2
Nov
2009
From “The Meaning of Matthew”
“Today I realize that this is one of the biggest roadblocks when it comes to people accepting gay people–particularly gay men. Some folks think being gay is only about having sex with someone of the same gender, and that’s the last thing many people want to think about. Now that I’ve become friends with so many gay people, my eyes have opened to the fact that, straight or gay, sexual orientation is about so much more than just who you go to bed with. It’s about relationships.” – Judy Shepard
Kind of “duh,” yes, but it’s amazing how few people realize this–be they anti-gay or “neutral.”
This is so true, and you’re right that a lot of people don’t realize this, and it’s sad.
It’s interesting that epidemiologists were forced to make this distinction/realization, however, in the interest of scientific accuracy, because not all gay men have (anal) sex with men and not all men who have sex with men identify as gay (i.e. some identify as straight, are in stable hetero relationships, and do it as an anonymous thing and never have relationships with men). Thus the term MSM (Men who have Sex with Men) was born:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_who_have_sex_with_men
That’s a surprisingly good wikipedia article, by the way, and it mentions some of the same things this post is getting at, under “MSM as a constructed behavioral category”.